Discovering Love: The Stories of Patience, Daniel, and Faith

I love my children with all my heart; they are my reason for being. Patience, my oldest, is my first miracle and blessing because I never thought I’d have children or find someone willing to take that risk with me, given my Hajdu-Cheney Syndrome. I often wondered what might happen if my condition worsened—needing to live in a care facility or, worse, dying from a fall or accident. I don’t know many with this syndrome who live into their 40s or beyond. Despite what most online sources say about normal life expectancies, that’s just a repeated myth—an old wives’ tale from decades ago.

Patience arrived 10 days late, coincidentally on the day I started a new job as Head Chef at Ric’s Grill. Family had come and gone, returning to their lives, but they still visited the hospital to meet her. Melanie and I couldn’t have been happier—what a blessing to have such a beautiful, healthy girl, our little princess P.

I’ll never forget her first spring, when she was learning to stand. I had the terrible idea to press a blade of grass between my thumbs and blow hard, making a loud noise that scared her senseless. She only ever screamed like that when we had her tongue tie cut for the third time. Later that summer, we took a road trip in our old red Pontiac G5 to Vancouver, then back through Calgary, and up to Grande Prairie. By the end of it, all the relatives had met Patience, and we were ready to settle down. Melanie planned to open a day home, a perfect way for her to stay home and raise our daughter full-time.

Patience has the sweetest smile, though she tries to hide it—maybe because her dimples, even cuter, show up when she grins. She didn’t know it, but her brother was likely conceived after Melanie and I celebrated her first birthday. The timing lines up: nine months later, Daniel arrived. I remember the day I realized Melanie might be pregnant. I was in the middle of hell week, opening a new restaurant, with a baby and fiancée at home, while also teaching a class at the local college. It hit me suddenly, so I called her and said, “Hey, I think you’re pregnant,” or something like that.

Melanie rushed out for tests and called me an hour later, giddy with confirmation. All I wanted was to run home—16 hours at work that day felt like enough, right? But it was the day before the soft opening, and we’d just gotten our food permit and dishes, so we had to nail down an awesome menu for friends and family. By the time I got home, Melanie was fast asleep. Exhausted, I crawled into bed, setting my alarm for 5 a.m.—just a few hours later. After that, things blur together. The restaurant was chaos—too many people, not enough direction. I couldn’t delegate fast enough, and as much as I wanted to be hands-on, I couldn’t until it was just me and the old crew. Despite everything, the restaurant failed. There were plenty of reasons and some regrets, but overall, it was a great experience.

When Daniel was born in late June, I planned to take time off—I owed it to Melanie, too, since I hadn’t been around as much during Patience’s first year. Daniel was such a baldy—Uncle Vance even nicknamed him Charlie Brown. With his dreamy, big dark eyes and kind soul, he’d just stare back at you. I ended up with nearly seven weeks off before starting at Majors. I decided I’d still work hard but not so hard that I’d come home empty for my family. I also had zero interest in shutting down a third restaurant. Those were mostly good days. For the first time, I had evenings off, soaking up family life—bedtime routines, mornings, dinners—things I’d missed working in fine dining.

Time flew. Before I knew it, Patience was dancing, and Daniel was scooting around on his butt. He never really crawled—just sat upright, using one leg to push forward, then the other, back and forth, in this cute little butt-scootch. Before Patience’s third birthday, we were both happy and scared to learn Faith was on the way. Why not, right? The best things come in threes. Funnily enough, the timing suggests we conceived Faith around Daniel’s first birthday—which was also when Melanie and I got married! Congratulations to us—here’s a baby! It was the best gift we could’ve asked for. We’d planned to marry the year before, but Daniel’s arrival threw off our schedule. These kids, no consideration for Mom and Dad’s timing!

Melanie and I used to brainstorm baby names. She’d suggest options while I mostly listened—I couldn’t think of a name to save my life. Faith came to me in a dream, though. I was dreaming about Melanie teasing me for not having ideas when “Faith” popped into my head. I woke up at 3 a.m., nudged Melanie awake, and asked if she liked it. We also loved Charlotte—I had a cool friend named Charlotte in junior high in La Glace, and I’d always liked the name. Even after Faith was born, we weren’t sure. It wasn’t until she turned blue, choking on her mucus plug, and was rushed to the NICU that it clicked. As the doctors worked to help her breathe, Melanie and I looked at each other and knew: we had to have Faith.

Things move fast with a baby in the picture and even faster with a couple toddlers in the mix and one of them soon to be going to kindergarten! How are the years racing by so friggen fast??Having kids is a little bit tiring and exhausting, okay, I lied, it is harder than running a kitchen. Kids are relentless with their needs and dependency. Once they are over about 7 it can get a little easier. Like less poops to clean, less buggers, less, and less undivided attention.

By the time Patience was 5 she was ready for Kindergarten and Faith was about 2, 2 and half. Those were the Paw Patrol Days, “be there on the double rouble!”, if you have young kids you know the paw patrol.
I feel like this was the end of an Era, the year after Patience started school Daniel began pre-school as a PIP(partner in play). These days were a little blurry too. Work was getting intense with all the banquets and catering we were doing. We had also gotten a semi-permanent gig feeding some of the crew guys and gals working on building the new regional Hospital.